Dillierama

Five word combinations

I have been secretly harboring a worry that Alex may be speech delayed.  Even though he is nearing the 40 word mark, he seems to be behind his peers due to the fact that he isn't using any descriptive or feeling words (unless "no", "vroom" or "wocka wocka" count), all of his words are nouns, names of things.  Also, he hasn't started stringing any words together.  Now, a couple of weeks ago he did say "eat cheese" while he was eating cheese, but it seems to have been a fluke because he hasn't done it since.  This week, however, it seems his love for Go Diego Go (or "Diegogo" as Alex calls it) has helped him grasp the concept of stringing words together.  I'm still not sure this would count to a speech pathologist, but to me it's progress.  His new "sentences" are:

1. Diegogo juice (referring to his Go Diego Go sippy)
2. Diegogo bankie (referring to his Go Diego Go blanket)
3. Diegogo Mommy (this is usually a request to "Turn on Diegogo Woman!")
4. No Mommy (It's usually more like "NOOOOOOOO Mommy!")
5. Go Diegogo (as a statement when the show starts, as if saying "Finally!  THIS is what I wanted!")

Five things I've had to give up since becoming a mom

1. Pooping in private
2. Wearing clothes that stay clean for more than 20 minutes
3. Eating or drinking things that haven't already been slobbered on
4. Noisy sex
5. Being the only person who wears my underwear and bras (Alex gets into my dresser and puts my underwear and bras on his head regularly)

Five things that made me happy this week

1. Alex's new Superman jammies (complete with cape)
   
2. Watching Alex watch fireworks
3. Discovering Diet Pepsi Max (oh, sweet caffine, how I love thee)
4. Alex handed me his echo microphone and I said into it "I love...ALEX!" and handed it back to him and he said into it "Love...Mommy!"  I don't know if he knew what he was saying, he was probably just copying me, but to hear "love mommy" made me feel all fuzzy inside.
5. This video:

Five favorite cable TV shows

1. Digging for the Truth (History)
2. No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain  (Travel)
3. The naked archeaologist  (History)
4. Dirty Jobs (Discovery)
5. Freestyle (HGTV)

Five things about Alex

1. He LOVES green beans (YUCK!)
2. He is terrified of the Starship Enterprise (we've been watching Next Gen on DVD)
3. If he comes at you with his mouth open you've got a 50/50 chance he'll either bite you or raspberry you.  Sometimes, he'll do both.
4. He loves watching Teletubbies
5. He loves books.  All day long he's bringing me books to read to him.  If he's not having me read them, he's playing with them.

Five things I'm certain Alex is saying

We've begun to translate Alexese and are pretty sure he is saying the following words:

1. "Daddy"  =  Daddy
2. "No!" and "Nine!" = No (I have no idea why he speaks German)
3. "Ba!" =  Ball or any round object, or object that can be made round by scrunching it up in your hand.  Surprisingly "Ba Ba" seems to mean  Football on TV.
4. "Tee" and sometimes "Tee Tee" =  Kitty
5. "Eye" and "Noos" = Eye and nose, which he helpfully demonstrates by poking your eyeball and sticking his finger in your nostril.

Also pending confirmation are:

• "Doggie"
• "puppy" (why he has two distinct words for dog and we don't even have one is beyond me)
• "Boob"
• "Hey" - which is his version of "hi"

Five things I swear Alex said even though he can't speak yet

1. "Here ya go"
2. "Mamas boobs" (he may have actually said this as he was pointing to my boob at the time)
3. "Em Repubkin" which I translated as "I am a Republican" (OH NO!!!!!)
4. "Kiddie farzzzz" which I translated as "The kitty farts"
5. "The dingo ate your baby" which he said clear as day with a hint of an Austrailian accent.  I shit you not.

Five things I won't miss

John's gone for the weekend duck hunting, and instead of moping around missing him, I thought I'd focus on the things I won't miss while he's gone.

1. The farting
2. Hogging the computer
3. Every time he sits on the sofa, it scoots back two inches. 
4. All the crap he leaves on my kitchen counter
5. I can't think of a fifth thing, because, damn, he really is a great guy, and I miss him already!

Five ways in which Alex has hurt himself this week

1. Managed to find the one inch section of unprotected fireplace hearth  to fall on (the rest is covered with a pool noodle) and scraped his cheek
2. Chased a ball under the keyboard of the piano, retrieved it and stood up fast and bonked his head
3. Running naked into my bathroom to take a shower (he LOVES showers, I don't know why), tripped on the bathmat and fell flat on his face and cut his bottom lip with his teeth
4. Playing with the pillows on my bed, jumped onto one of them and bounced right off the bed
5. Closing one of my kitchen cupboards (after throwing all the tupperware out onto the floor of course) he pinched his fingers in the door.

Five not quite profanities that I absolutely hate

1. Gosh
2. Heck
3. Frigging
4. Dang
5. Shoot