Dillierama

Project Hot Mom, Take 2

Now that we're past the scary stuff, home from the hospital, and have had Max living with us at home for almost two weeks, life is settling down to normal and I have time to focus on other things.  Things like what appears to be a large fleshy deflated beach ball attached to my midsection.  WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!

I gained 35 pounds during this pregnancy, which is great for me, because I believe I've mentioned before I'd gained 60 with Alex.  Sadly, I started this pregnancy 30 pounds heavier than I was when I got pregnant with Alex, so I pretty much ended up the same.  I lost 15 pounds just by giving birth, so to get back to pre-Max weight I still need to loose 20 pounds.  Then, to get to pre-Alex shape, I need to loose that pesky 30 pounds I couldn't seem to shake for two years.  Ugh.  I have to loose 50 pounds to just be less fat.  Because once I'm at pre-Alex weight, I have at least another 20 pounds to loose to get to where I'll be mildly satisfied with myself.  Are you keeping track?  That's 70 pounds I have to loose.  And you know what?  I'll still be fat, just less so.  Ugh.  It's a good thing John likes 'em curvy!

To be honest, I didn't really try very hard to loose the weight after I had Alex because I knew I'd get pregnant again and just gain it all back, and really, what's the point?  Now that I'm done having kids, I can't use that excuse anymore.  You know what that means?  Project Hot Mom.  Since I'm still trying to get a good milk supply, I'm planning on easing into it.  For July, I plan to just eat reasonably, nurse on demand and go for a mile to mile and a half (depending on how long the kids let me) walk every day.  In August I'll really kick it up a notch.  Maybe join a gym and get on a more structured eating plan.  My goal is to have lost that 70 pounds by Max's first birthday.  Doable I think.  I hope!

Project Hot Mom Returns (again)

Ok, I am officially starting up Project Hot Mom again.  This fat ass has got to go.  I mean, there's really no excuse for it.  It's just there, jiggling menacingly at passers by.  To my credit, it hasn't gotten any bigger since I quit my job.  In fact, I am a whole five pounds lighter than I was when I was employed.  But, it really is time to get back on the wagon again and give loosing this pregnancy weight a real go again.  I mean, I really haven't tried very hard in the last year, and it's too bad because by now I should be at my pre-pregnancy weight or less.  But, it's never too late to start (again), and I think I'm ready to give it another try. 

In March John and I have our fourth wedding anniversary and Alex will turn 18 months old.  I would like to get a professional family portrait done around that time as well.  So that will serve as my timeline.  By the end of March I want to have lost 30 pounds.  That should put me around 20 pounds lost by our anniversary and 30 pounds lost (PRE-PREGNANCY WEIGHT!!!) for our family portrait. That means I have to loose 2 pounds a week.  Totally doable.

I begin today.

Project Hot Mom, week 4 update: Suckage

Getting my period + bloating + craving all things fried and salty = REALLY sucking at my diet this week

On the positive side, I did walk 2 miles every day!  Go me!

August's Project Hot Mom Goals: Week 3 Update

Week 3 weight loss:  2 pounds
Total lost for August:  4 pounds
Need to loose to make goal:  6 pounds

Ok, so it's not looking good that I'll meet August's 10 pound weight loss goal in two weeks, however, I'm not feeling bad about it.  I'm 4 pounds less than I was three weeks ago, and really, that's something to be proud of. 

Here were my goals for the week and how I did:

• Go to Curves three days per week
  Well, I went once, but I didn't work out, I just tranferred my membership to a different location.
• Take Alex and Middie for a 30 minute walk 5 days per week
  I didn't take Alex or Middie every day, but I did walk on my lunch break every day
• Eat out only once per week
  Well, almost.  I got a breakfast burrito at Carl's this morning and will be going to Winger's for dinner with John tonight.  Still, not too shabby.
• No more vending machine purchases at work.  Eat fruit or yogurt for snacks instead
  Well, I did better, I only bought diet pepsi, while not exactly good for me, it's better than getting chips and poptarts.
• Breakfast and lunches should be light
  Until today, I did ok here.
• Cook healthy dinners Sunday - Thursday 
  Did great.  Though I didn't cook on Sunday because we went to a BBQ.
• Drink water only.  No more soda. 
  Aside from my one diet pepsi a day, I did pretty good here.

I have to congratulate John too. He's starting his own "Project Hot Papa" (though he's not calling it that), and has started doing a 5k walk every morning before work. I'm so proud of him!

Week 3 weight loss:  2 pounds
Total lost for August:  4 pounds
Need to loose to make goal:  6 pounds

Ok, so it's not looking good that I'll meet August's 10 pound weight loss goal in two weeks, however, I'm not feeling bad about it.  I'm 4 pounds less than I was three weeks ago, and really, that's something to be proud of. 

Here were my goals for the week and how I did:

August's Project Hot Mom Goals: Week 2 update

Um. I don't want to talk about it.  This week's effort was somewhat less than stellar.  I can't even offer up a respectable excuse for my failure.  I'll just sum it up by admitting that yesterday I had McD's for breakfast, then proceeded to go to two separate fast food joints for lunch in search of the perfect fried potato (which I found at KFC if you must know).

Instead of moping about it, I'll just suck it up and start fresh tomorrow.

August's Project Hot Mom Goals: Week 1 Update

As promised, my first weekly update.

August's monthly weight loss goal is 10 pounds.
Week 1 weight loss: 2 pounds

Here were my goals for the week and how I did:

• Go to Curves three days per week
  Um, I didn't go at all. I didn't have time.
• Take Alex and Middie for a 30 minute walk 5 days per week
  We went 3 days
• Eat out only once per week
  Ended up eating out 2 lunches and 1 dinner, which actually is a big improvement
• No more vending machine purchases at work.  Eat fruit or yogurt for snacks instead
  Yea, I don't even want to talk about this one
• Breakfast and lunches should be light
  This I did do well
• I've already stocked my freezer with Suppertime Freezer Fillers, so dinners shouldn't be hard to do, just need to make sure I am careful with the side dishes. 
  I LOVE YOU SUPPERTIME! I cooked them every night but Friday. I didn't even do side dishes for most of the meals, but two nights we had rolls and I made rice for the Hawaiian Chicken
• Drink water only.  No more soda.  The only exception being when we go out to dinner once a week, I'll allow myself to get a drink.
  Well, not so good. I did cut down to one soda per day. Which, again, is an improvement.

So, I did ok. I made minor improvements and actually lost 2 pounds, which was a surprise. I was a stress ball all week because of my decision to quit my job. You'd have thought I was having to make the decision to start a nuclear war or something what with all the nail biting, hand wriging and stress related GI problems this week has been filled with. I think I may have given myself an ulcer.  And considering the fact that I'm a stress eater, it's a miracle I didn't gain 5 pounds this week.  So, all in all, I'd call the week a success. 

Project Hot Mom: Ok, so I lied, I'm going to diet. Damnit.

Ok, so I know that mere weeks ago I swore off diets forever, vowing to love my fat ass and flabby arms.  I know I said that rather than go on a restrictive diet to try to change my shape, I could just learn to dress and accessorize better.  Well, seeing as how I just can't seem to find a pair of earrings that go with my cellulite, I'm beginning to feel like I'm ready to get back up on that diet wagon once again and give it another go.

Ugh...I'm going on another diet. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

So, Project Hot Mom is back in full swing. I'm going to start with some small monthly goals, and revise them each month based on how the last one went. 

August's Goal: Loose 10 lbs (this is agressive, I know, but I'm betting I've got about five pounds of water weight in my legs alone I can loose in a week or two.)

And how?

• Go to Curves three days per week
• Take Alex and Middie for a 30 minute walk 5 days per week
• Eat out only once per week
• No more vending machine purchases at work.  Eat fruit or yogurt for snacks instead
• Breakfast and lunches should be light
• I've already stocked my freezer with Suppertime Freezer Fillers, so dinners shouldn't be hard to do, just need to make sure I am careful with the side dishes.
• Drink water only.  No more soda.  The only exception being when we go out to dinner once a week, I'll allow myself to get a drink.
• Report on this blog my weekly progress (Eek! Accountability!)

I start tomorrow!  Wish me luck!

Project Hot Mom: Dieting sucks and I ain't doin' it no more!

So I haven't lost a pound, not one stinking pound, since I started thinking about deciding to maybe go on a diet.  The good news is I haven't gained a pound either, so ok then.  I'm reading this great book:  The Fat Girl's Guide to Life and I'm loving it!  It's the first book I've ever read that isn't asking me to apologize to the world for my dimply ass and telling me if I'd just get out and exercise more I'd look like Madonna in no time.  This book gets me.  It understands that I don't eat more than your average person, and I probably exercise as much as your average person (3 or more days at the gym weight training and a 30 minute walk every morning). I'm just fat. I'm built that way, and that just might be ok.

Sure, I would love to lose those 30 pounds I'm still packing from the pregnancy, but beyond that, I've lost the desire to look like my husband's sisters.  They're both impossibly thin and beautiful and that's great for them, but that's not me, and that's ok.  I'll never wear a bikini, and that's ok too.  And maybe, just maybe, I can feel pretty and sexy and be completely satisfied with my hips and my legs and my boobs and my butt just the way they are.  Really.

So, the point is, I'm done with the diets.  I do still plan to make some changes in my life.  Some, admitedly, designed to help me drop the pregnancy weight, and others, just to make me feel better about myself.  But dieting?  No more.  That said, here's the new plan:

1) Stop eating out so damn much!  I almost always eat out two meals a day.  Not only is that not good for me, it's pretty rough on the wallet too.  My goal is to only eat out once a week.  That includes fast food as well as sit down resturaunts. I am going on vacation in 2 weeks, so obviously I'll have to eat out more during that time, but that should be the exception, not the rule.

2) Continue the morning walk every day.  It really is the highlight of my morning.

3) Keep on going to Curves and doing the weight training. I need the strength and energy to keep up with my active almost-toddler.

4) Don't go out wearing John's Star Wars t-shirt, sports bra and sweats.  Really.  I need to take more pride in my appearance.  Make an effort.  Put on earrings, wear actual pants.  Or, *gasp*, a skirt!  I look like a completely different person with a little eye makeup, blowdried hair and wearing attractive clothing that fits.  I feel like a different person too.

5) Quit worrying about what everyone thinks of me.  It doesn't matter.  To the people that do matter, I'm fine the way I am.  Alex can cuddle up in my soft arms and snuggle his little face into my squishy boobs.  I'm his mommy and I'm perfect the way I am. John has always loved me regardless of what I weigh. He met me fat, married me fat, and continues to want to have hot sex with me fat.  He knew he didn't marry a 20-something Carrie Fisher wearing a metal bikini in Return of the Jedi.  If he wanted that, he wouldn't have married me.  And I'm a hellofalot sexier when I feel good about my body than if I am obsessing about my cellulite

Project Hot Mom - Week 3

So, the exercising thing is going quite well. The first week I went to Curves four times, last week I went three times and I fully intend to go four times this week. I’ve already gone twice already. I’m also still taking Alex on walks at least 3 times a week. Unfortunately, I’ve had cut out my afternoon walks at work because it’s just too hot, and I come back into the building drenched in sweat like I’ve been out pig wrestling or something.

Going to Curves is pretty much as cheesy as you’d think it would be. Chubby middle aged women with no rhythm in their matching velour sweatsuits pumping their arms as they march in place “feeling the burn”. Sometimes they’ll do special little moves, like a step kick while waving their arms around crazily. Some will do the twist. If you’re really lucky, someone will use the hula hoop in the center of the circuit. That’s always fun to watch. Admittedly, I hated it the first week. The workout is a good one, and more often than not I wake up the next day with sore muscles. But I couldn’t seem to shake the “I don’t belong here” feeling. The next week was better, I even started to see some people my age. This week I’m actually enjoying it, and I caught myself doing little dance moves on the “running in place” pad.

I haven’t been doing so well on the food front however. Yesterday was the first day I was actually successful in eating only “allowed” foods. Of course I tried to cheat. I tried to sneak a bag of peanut M&M’s into our cart at Costco, but John found it and made me take it back to the candy aisle. On my way to return the offending bag, I passed a table piled high with chocolate doughnuts. I almost cried.

I’ve weighed myself both at home and at Curves this week, but I’m not sure of my progress. My home scale says I’ve lost 6 pounds, the Curves scale says I’ve gained 1 pound. I’m inclined to believe the Curves scale because I expected to gain a little after starting a resistance training program because of the whole “muscle weighs more than fat” rule.