Los Barriles

I almost didn't go.  Between all of us getting sick and a mixture of worry and guilt about leaving John alone with the boys, it was a miracle I was able to even walk into the airport after a pathetic tearful goodbye when John dropped me off.  You'd have thought I was about to be dropped into a tank full of hungry sharks the way I was acting.  Like I'd never be coming home.

After checking in, buying an overpriced sandwich and diet Coke and finding a nice place to wait until my flight took off, I happened to glance up at the TV where President Obama was talking about an outbreak of Swine Flu in Mexico. MEXICO! HOLY MOTHER OF &%*$#%%! I'M GOING TO MEXICO!!!  I was only catching bits of the news report but the way they were making it sound was if I merely walked by a Mexican without a full HAZMAT suit on, I'd die instantly from the Swine Flu.  I gathered up my stuff and started heading out of the airport, dialing John's number with the full intention of asking him to come back and get me that there was NO WAY I was going on this trip. NO WAY!

John just laughed at me.  No, I wouldn't get swine flu.  I've been planning on this trip for months, I was going and that was that.  He suggested I call my relatives leaving from San Diego and see what their thoughts were.  I did.  Are we concerned? I asked my cousin.  Nope, no worries, they assured me, we'd be just fine.  Where we were going there were no outbreaks, we'd be fine.  They passed the phone around the six of them and though I was still shaking in my flip flops, they were calling my flight to board and I took a deep breath and got on.  Also, Bonnie B promised margaritas to calm us all down once we got there.  Lots of margaritas.

I was fine on the flight until the captain announced that we'd crossed the border.  Then I cried.  A lot.  I was missing my boys and worried they wouldn't let me back into the country.  At some point before I landed though, I calmed down a bit.  I'd already done it.  I'd already left.  Whatever was going to happen would happen at this point.  I found my family and we drove in a rented Suburban the hour from Los Cabos to Los Barriles, a tiny little fishing village which appeared to have more cows and dogs than people in it.  We arrived at The Villa and, WOW.  It was beautiful! I'd never been anywhere so quiet and serene.  The Villa is right on a private beach with hardly a soul in sight.  The water was clear and warm and the breeze flowed through the open house and made it feel like paradise.

 
View from main floor patio

As promised we went to dinner and had margaritas and visited and enjoyed each other's company and my heart stopped thumping in my chest and I was starting to be able to breathe and relax a bit.

But that night I couldn't sleep. I was up all night with a full blown panic attack.  I couldn't breathe, I felt light headed, I wanted to go home.  Not because I didn't like it there, but because I was absolutely TERRIFIED I wouldn't be able to get home to my boys.  We had no way to get news.  There was only one working phone and my aunt had it and she was asleep.  I didn't have a computer or wifi.  No TV reception.  No newspaper, nothing.  What was going on?  Did they close the borders?  Was everyone in Mexico dropping dead like flies from the Swine Flu?  The more I worried the more insane my thoughts became.  I got up in the dark and I sat on the patio and listened to the water lap the sand on the beach and thought as soon as my aunt got up I'd call John and he'd buy me a ticket home and if they didn't want to drive me back to the airport I'd call a cab and if I couldn't do that, well, I'd steal one of the fishing boats and...well, you get the idea.  Finally Bonnie got up and I told her I had to go home.  I was panicking.  She told me to call John.  I did.  He wasn't worried.  The kids did fine all night.  I calmed down instantly. 

The rest of the trip was great.  Occasionally I'd feel a little stressed, worried about how John was doing with the boys or hearing any news about the Swine Flu, but I'd just call John and just the sound of his voice would calm me.  I'd relax, I was able to sleep better, I could enjoy being with my cousins and aunts and Grandma.  On Monday it had felt like an eternity before I would see my family again, but by Thursday I was thinking I could stand a few more weeks there.

We ate a lot of tortillas and guacamole and zucchini bread and shrimp.  I drank margaritas with dinner every night.  I watched the sun rise over the Sea of Cortez, I swam in the clear water, I walked on the beach.  I read a lot.  I took naps.  I spent time getting to know these wonderful women I was with a little better.  By the time I came home I felt like my reserves had been filled.  I was relaxed and happy and fortified. 

 
Sunrise

This trip meant a lot to me and I'm glad I didn't let anything keep me from going.  I NEEDED this trip.  I didn't even know how much I needed it, but I did.  The time I had with my cousins Carrie and Caren and my aunts Linda, Bonnie B and Bonnie P and my Grandma was something that I'll always remember. 

I learned that I have family, people who love me very much, even if we don't live close.  I enjoyed hearing stories of their experiences as mothers, their struggles and triumphs and I soaked in their advice for me with my own boys.  I learned to trust my husband to take care of our kids, and when left to his own devices, he's quite a wonderful father all on his own.  I learned that even when I go away, leave the country even, I think about my kids every minute of every day and that even though it's hard sometimes, even though I can get frustrated and feel like I've gotten way in over my head with this parenting gig, I would totally steal a fishing boat and illegally cross the US/Mexican border to get back to them.

Comments

[Jen Beans]

Well deserved as much as needed I would say. Seeing the pictures, how wonderful to capture such an amazing moment for you and the ones with Grandma are going to be so cherished. Other than that... dang I want to purchase the villa!

[Scott and Sara]

I am so glad you went through with it! It looks like you had a blast and I love the pictures. What a great place you stayed at. The kids did great from what I could tell on Johns facebook updates : ) I was worried about the swine flu and you! Glad you are safe and home. How did the suit work out for you? The girls stay in them???