Dillierama

Happy Halloween!

 

Adult beverages

While at the kid's well child visit last week, I got the ok from their pediatrician to engage in some light to moderate imbibing as long as I wait two hours before I nurse the baby again.  I then forgot all about it.  I'm not really a drinker, though I do like a glass of red wine with dinner occasionally.  Last night John made himself a cocktail after dinner and I remembered that HEY! I can have a cocktail too!  So I had him make me a wussy version of what he was drinking, I nursed the baby and began to partake of my peach crystal light spiked with passion fruit vodka (which was a delightful concoction). 

And then I remembered why I don't drink.  It makes me TIRED.  And I'm already TIRED (getting three or less hours of sleep per night and giving up all caffeine but my one cup of coffee in the morning).  I didn't even get a buzz, I just got really sleepy, which sucked because I'd totally forgotten about Max's evening freakout (every evening, around 6:30 or 7:00 he basically screams for a half hour to forty-five minutes for no apparent reason), and I was nodding off while trying to rock and soothe him.

So, while I CAN drink, perhaps I shouldn't until I'm getting enough sleep that I'm not passing out from exhaustion by six in the evening.

Geek by marriage

I was at a playgroup Halloween party with Alex as a gorilla and Max as Yoda.  One of the kids brought over a toy and asked their mom what it was.  They passed the toy around and no one could figure out what it was.  I took a quick glance and said matter of factly "That's a Star Wars toy"  Everyone was silent for a minute and someone said, "Oh, maybe it is a Star Wars toy".  "It is" I replied, "That's General Grievous.  I know my Star Wars characters, If you haven't noticed [motioned toward Max Yoda] my husband is kind of a geek."

I'm a big kid now!

Baby decided to get up and stay up at 5am this morning (usually I can convince him to go back to sleep until 6:30), So I got up and for reasons I can't remember, stumbled half asleep into Alex's bathroom to pee instead of using the master bath.  When I was done, without thinking I got the potty chart and put one sticker on, because I pee peed in the potty like a big girl!

Back to mall walking

It's gotten too cold in the mornings to take the kids out and walk like I used to, so this morning after I dropped John at work, we went over to the mall.  It worked out great except that every time we passed the Victoria's Secret store (six times), Alex would point to the mannequins in the shop windows and say "Those are Boobies!  Boobies make baby milk!" 

I give up.

There is no parental task so tortuous to me as potty training.  It has been, and continues to be the most amazingly frustrating thing I've ever attempted to do. 

Alex is ready.  He knows how to use the potty, he knows he's supposed to use the potty, he just chooses not to.  Any time I take him to the potty, he'll produce something, but he almost always goes in his pants in between trips to the potty.  And it's not like I'm waiting too long between trips.  There are days when I've taken him every fifteen minutes and he STILL pisses his pants!  The sticker chart had been working, but he's going through a whole sticker chart in a day (30 stickers) and STILL wetting his pants. We've tried rewards (get a toy, candy, etc. when peeing or pooping), punishments (take away a toy if he goes in his pants), constant reminding (every five minutes "do you need to pee pee?"), just letting him run around in soiled underpants which just resulted in a massive case of diaper rash, running around naked just made him realize he really loves to pee on his toys, my rug, the couch, etc.  We've tried a little potty, a potty seat on the big toilet, no potty seat at all.  We've tried cloth traing pants, superhero underpants, Pull Ups with "learning designs", Pull Ups with "cool alert" supposedly get cool when wet, but Alex couldn't care less.  He's even resumed peeing the bed at night, somthing he handn't been doing for months.  Short of inventing a Pull Up that stabs a hot poker into his scrotum when he wets, I'm at a loss for what to do next.

So, now, I say f--k it.  I give up.  This is a battle I'm clearly not going to win.  And it's just making me irritable and angry at Alex every single day.  We've been at this for about a year.  A YEAR.  So, f--k it.  Alex, you win.  They make Pull Ups up to a size 5t and he's currently wearing a size 2T.  If he wants to go to preschool next year (and he does), he can stop peeing his pants, if not, he'll have to wait another year.  If he's still not potty trained, he'll have to skip preschool all together.  If he STILL doesn't get potty trained, well, I guess we can look into homeschooling and adult size diapers.

Much ado about nothing, apparently

I spent today doing some much needed housecleaning.  During the course of cleaning my kitchen, I opened up the pantry with the intention of cleaning up the floor.  I took out the trash can and other misc. things that sit on the floor in there out and gasped in horror when I saw little brown pellets along the back wall of the pantry.

After screaming "Oh HELL NO!" and doing a wierd little "ew, ew, EW!" dance around the kitchen, I got myself together and swept up what I was certain were rat droppings from the bottom of my FOOD pantry.  I then Skyped John with the news that OH MY GOD WE HAVE RATS! RATS!  John, calm as ever was disbelieving.  I assured him that I grew up on horse property. We had a barn for goodness sake, I KNOW WHAT RAT POOP LOOKS LIKE! WE HAVE RATS OH MY GOD WE HAVE RATS!!!!!  He told me to call our pest control service.

I called and made an appointment for someone to come fumigate the hell out of our house as soon as possible.  The woman on the phone told me that if I saw any more I should save them in a baggie to show the technician so he knew what he was dealing with and he'd be here Tuesday morning.

I decided that I still had to clean the rest of the pantry, so I calmed myself down and reinspected the floor.  I noticed three more little pellets.  I carefully swept them up and put them on a paper towel.  And I looked at them.  And then I REALLY looked at them.

 

Then Alex stated the obvious "That not rat poop Mommy.  That chockit!"

You should have heard the pest control lady laugh when I called to tell her that no, we did not need them to make a special trip out to rid our house of miniature chocolate chips, I could do that myself.

More fun with waboppers

This morning, Alex found the discarded pipecleaners and demanded  "make me a GREEN WABOPPER ASSHOPPER MOMMY!"

"You want me to make a green grasshopper?"

"ASSHOPPER!  YEAH!"

Ok son, asshopper it is then.

Huh?

Making pipecleaner animals with Alex.  I made a dog.  He didn't want a dog. I made a mouse.  He didn't want a mouse. I ask him "What do you want then?"  he replies "I want a rabbobairs" I don't know what that is.  Rabbit ears?  No.  Rambo bears? No. Rabbi hairs? No. 

I just don't know.

**Updated**

It seems he means to say grasshoppers. 
"WABOBERS! WABOPPERS!" 
"Grasshoppers?"
"YEAH! WABOPPERS! WABOPPERS!"

But then things got confused again when I said, ok, I'll make a grasshopper, then he said "NO! I want Waboppers. WABOPPERS!" and pointed to the ziplock bag I had the pipecleaners in.  When asked "Are you just trying to say pipecleaners" he will only reply "WABOPPERS! WABOPPERS!"

I am so confused.

**Updated. Again**

Ok, so I think he thinks that pipecleaners are called Waboppers because now he's shoving a pipecleaner into a matchbox car and saying "Wabopper in dere!"  I try to get him to say pipecleaner, but he just looks at me and smiles saying "WABOPPER! No pipecweenah. WABOPPER!"  Gah!  Fine. Wabopper it is then.

Well children

Took the boys to the doctor yesterday for their well child checkups.  When we pulled into the parking lot Alex said from the carseat "I'm sick?" and I said, "no, why do you think you're sick?" and he replies "Because I go to the doctor"

When we went into the office, Alex ran into the waiting room (to the toys of course) and when he saw it was full of people, he says in a cheerful voice "GOOD MORNING PEOPLE!"

This was the first well child checkup of Alex's that he was measured and weighed and had his blood pressure taken like a kid.  As in, not a baby.  I don't know why it took me by surprise, but he just seemed so...big.  The nurse was giving him instructions "sit here, stand there, hold this, sit real still..." etc instead of telling me to put him here, hold him that way... The only problem we had with Alex was he refused to get undressed.  He's going through a shy/scared phase and he screamed like we were trying to kill him when we tried to get his shirt and pants off, so, we didn't.  He let Mitzi listen to his chest and back under his shirt and he just plain screamed when she had to pull down his pants and PullUp.  She didn't really get too good of a look down there, so I'm hoping everything's developing on schedule. Looks normal to me anyway.

His weight is now 31 pounds (41%  He's never been out of the twenties since he was Max's age, though he was wearing all of his clothes, which could account for at least a pound or two) and 37 inches tall (only 40% on height, which is odd for him, he's usually in the 60-70% for height).  She declared him healthy and perfect. 

His eczema contines to be a problem, though I seem to have found a way to at least keep it moderately under control by slathering him with lotion three times a day.  Sure, he's a little slimy, but quite a bit less itchy. I'm concerned about his Elidel creme he's used for the last three years as there is some evidence linking that particular drug to some skin cancers and lymphoma, so I've really scaled back my use and only apply it when he's got a real bad flare up.  Weighing the very real risks of infection against the sorta/maybe risks of this drug.  His thumb and wrist are always a problem because of his thumb sucking, but even that looked fine to the doctor at the moment.

He got a flu shot* and though he screamed and screamed and it took THREE of us to hold him down and poke him, he survived it and immediately began thinking of what he wanted to get at the store for his "brave boy" reward.  He was a little concerned about Max getting his shot, yelling "BE NICE TO BABY BROTHER!" at us when Max was getting his immunizations. 

Max continues to amaze the doctor with his extreme cuteness and amazing health.  The official report on his EEG was in (we'd only gotten the preliminary report two months ago) and he was declared perfectly normal and he doesn't need any more followup visits unless we notice anything strange, which we haven't.

He weighs a whopping 15.65 pounds putting him in the 64% and he's 26.38 inches and a shocking 91%! (in comparason, Alex at his 4 month well child visit was 14.2 lbs - 22% and an even 26 inches - 77%).

One funny little note to mention, when they were asking the regular questions like does he go to daycare?  Does anyone in the home smoke? etc. When they got to Does he (as in Alex) still sit in a carseat? I answered yes, then they asked Does he wear a helmet?  And I immediately panicked thinking there was some kind of law saying that not only do kids have to be in a carseat, but they also need to wear helmets while riding in the car.  I responded "NO!  Is he supposed to be wearing a helmet?  I didn't know!  What about the baby, does he have to wear a helmet too?"  To which the nurse cocked her head to the side and gave me a puzzled look. 
"The baby rides a bike?" she asked. 
"A bike?  What?" I reply. 
"The baby is too young to be on a bike, you need to wait until he can sit up on his own otherwise it's too dangerous" she tells me seriously.
"I'm confused.  No, the baby is not riding on a bike. Why are we talking about this? I'm wondering if I need to get the boys helmets for the car."
"Why would you need to get helmets for the car?"
"You just asked me if Alex wears a helmet in the car."
"In the car?"
"Yes. He has a carseat, not a booster, but he doesn't wear a helmet."
"A helmet while riding a BIKE.  Not in the car."
"Oh." 

We both had a good laugh about that one.

I continue to feel very, VERY lucky to have my two healthy perfect little boys.  And believe me, I know EXACTLY how lucky and blessed we are.  I take nothing for granted.  To even have them at all is a miracle.  The fact that they are also healthy is just the icing on the cake.  The fact that they are crazy cute is the cherry on top.

*and yes, I talked to her about the thimerosal in flu shots and was satisfied with her answer.  Vaccinations, even flu shots for kids, are a touchy subject. I've asked the questions,did the research, weighted the risks and still choose to vaccinate my kids. That's my decision.  You don't criticize me, I won't criticize you ok?